ShYaRi

Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?Husband: I wont have to pay you, you will get my entire insurance amount.

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Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay…
Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?
Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri [...]

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India Marriage Joke
1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.
2.There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married – and now he is going thru hell.
3.A [...]

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Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5″7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!
**********
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, “If you behave like this, you will [...]

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Thappar Maarnay par naraaz wife se husband bola:
“Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se wo pyar karta hai.”
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur boli…
“Aap kya samajhtay hain main aapse pyar nahi kerti?”
After 25 yrs wife said to husband: Do u remember when u proposed me,
I was so overwhelmed I didnt talk for 1 [...]

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Season Ticket
Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. “Listen to this,” she said. “There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.” “Hmmm,” her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. [...]

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Betty Crocker
One day a woman came up to her husband and told him that the TV was broken and she was missing her shows. “Does it say cable repairman anywhere on my forehead?” he asked.
“No,” she said.
A few minutes later she came back and told him that the porch was breaking and it [...]

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 Short Husband and Wife Jokes 
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The [...]

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His Wife
Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, “You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You [...]

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What is the difference between Saali And Wife*
Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty
Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension
Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi
Saali is Pataka, Wife is BATAKA
Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool
Saali is Tooti – Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi
Saali is Fresh cake , Wife is earth QUAKE

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There was a guy who just got out of a really bad divorce with his wife. One day, he found a genie’s lamp.
The genie came out and said, “Hello master. I will grant you three wishes but, what ever you wish for your wife gets double.”
The guy didn’t like that part but he made [...]

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Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few [...]

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A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and [...]

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A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our
coffee.”
The husband said, ” You are in charge of cooking
around here and you should do it, because [...]

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A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine’s Day and announced enthusiastically to her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day! What do you think it means?”
With certainty in his voice, the man said, “You’ll know tonight.”
That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to [...]

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