???? ??? ???? jokes
An Englishman asked Santa, “How far is land“?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa:
Downwards !**********
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for
48 hrs on escalators.**********
How did Santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
*********
Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key,
now I have lost it too.*********
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
*********
Santa falls in love with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “
I luv u sister .”*********
Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
*********
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu:
A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .*********
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
*********
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn’t came back yet!
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else? .
**********
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
***********
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
***********
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.
************
Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says “Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!”
************
Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
Finally, Santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.
************
Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
************
Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home . The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming , earlier I sat on the back seat.
************
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