Rango Ke Tyohar Me Sabhi Rango Ki Ho Bharmar, Dher Saari Khushiyo Se Bhara Ho Aapka Sansar, Yahi Dua hai Bhagwan Se Hamari Har bar, Holi Mubarak!
Pyar k rang se bharo pichkari, Sneh k rang se rang do dunia sari,
ye rang na jane na koi baat na boli, apko advance me mubarak ho Happy Holi
Pichkari ki dhar, rango ki bauchar, apno ka pyar, yahi hai HOLI ka tyohar. Wishing you and your family a very happy and colourful HOLI.
Rang udaye pichkari,
rang jaye duniya sari,
holi ke rang aapke jivanko rang de,
ye shubhkamna hai sada hamari…
I think my dad is Dracula.
I know that sounds insane,
but listen for a moment and
allow me to explain.
We don’t live in a castle,
and we never sleep in caves.
But, still, there’s something weird
about the way my dad behaves.
I never see him go out
in the daytime when it’s light.
He sleeps all day till evening,
then he leaves the house at night.
He comes home in the morning
saying, “Man, I’m really dead!”
He kisses us goodnight,
and then by sunrise he’s in bed.
My mom heard my suspicion
and she said, “You’re not too swift.
Your father’s not a vampire.
He just works the graveyard shift.”
Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay…
Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?
Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.
Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon, mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!
Wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.
An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.
They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; After marriage: It is self-defense
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?
How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then…
Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6. Tum aate ho k main aaon?
Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De
Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti
Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!!
Whats the diff between Dava Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date
and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
Husband: You will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife: Non-sense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.
Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.
WHO IS MORE STUPID
There were these two friends and both of them had Sardarji drivers. They
were having an argument about whose driver is more stupid. So one of the
friends called his driver:”Oye Santa Singh”…
Santa Singh replied: “Ji praaJi”
his boss said: “take this 100Rs, go to
Showroom and buy a Mercedes Benz for me”
Santa Singh said: “Here i come in a minute along with the BENZ”
The boss said to his friend in a winning tone..” See how stupid he is..he
went to buy a Mercedes for only100Rs,”
The other friend said” Still my driver is more stupid” Then he called his
driver Banta Singh and said” Go home and check if I’m
there”…………..????
Banta singh said” OK I will Check out” and he left out..
His boss said “see my driver is more stupid.. he can’t even realize
that how can i be at home if i m here”
Now Santa and Banta met on their way.. Santa: My boss is sooo stupid..he
gave me 100Rs, to buy a mercedes..he does not even know that today is Sunday
and all showrooms are closed…
Banta: My boss is even more stupid.. He sent me to check if he is home..he
has a cell phone .he could have called home and check if he is there..??
KBC main Shahrukh ne mujhe pucha
“World ka sabse bada ullu kaun hain??”"
…………. ( Answer to main jaanta hoon par kaise bol sakta……. ye tension mujhe satane laga…….)
Tension se main pani pani ho raha tha …………………
Meri Haalat kharab ho gayi…………………… aur phir finally
maine…………????
??
??
??
Maine Ek Crore Thukra diya…….
…
….
….
..
…
..
..
..
..
Lekin …………… tera naam nahin bataya….
Thik kiya naaaaaa
Thatz Friendship!!
India Marriage Joke
1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.
2.There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married – and now he is going thru hell.
3.A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds : ” Wife wanted”. Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing “You can have mine.”
4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
5. It’s easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.
6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, “If you don’t promise to send us $100,000, we promise you we will kidnap your wife.” The poor man wrote back, ” I am afraid I can’t keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours.”
7. “What’s the matter, you look depressed.” “I’m having trouble with my wife.” “What happened?” “She said she wasn’t going to speak to me for 30 days.” But that ought to make you happy.” “It did, but today is the last day.”
8.”Darling,” whispered a frail little husband from his chair. ” I’m very sick, would you please call me a vet?”. “A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?” The husband replied. Because I work like a horse,live like a dog, and have to sleep with a silly cow.”
Laloo enters a shop and shouts, “Where’s my free gift with this
oil?”
Shopkeeper: “Iske Saath koi Gift nahin hai, Lalooji”
Laloo : Ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE “
2) Saddam Hussain visits God and asks him:
” God, When shall I see The defeat of Bush? “
God replies:” Son, you will not see it in your lifetime.”
Hearing this, Saddam Hussain starts crying and goes away. Gen Parvez
Musharaff visits God and asks him:
” God, when shall I see the Capture of Kashmir by Pakistan. “
God replies:” Son, you will not see it in lifetime”.
Hearing this, Gen Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away.
Laloo Yadav visits God and asks him:
” God when shall I see Bihar Becoming a prosperous and happy state ?
” Hearing this, God starts crying. Laaloo is astounded and asks:”
God, why are you crying?
” God replies:” Son, I will not see it in my lifetime.”
3) Once Laloo was coming out of the Airport. As there was a Huge
rush, the security guard told Laloo “WAIT PLEASE”, for which Laloo
replied “85 Kgs” and moved on…
4) Laloo’s family planning policy : DON’T HAVE MORE THAN TWO
CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR
5) At a bar in New York , the man to Laloo’s left tells the
bartender, “JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE.” And the man’s companion
says, “JACK DANIELS, SINGLE.” The bartender approaches Laloo and
asks, “AND U sir?” Laloo replies: “LALOO YADAV, MARRIED.”
6) After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides To go
modelling. Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and Resting his
elbows. On the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day
the photo Appears on the front page of a newspaper. Guess the
caption !! ‘Laloo, third from left!’
7) A reporter asked Laloo “What is the main reason for divorce?”
Laloo replies “Marriage”.
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he’d been working on for Quite
sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to A
friend. “It Took me only 5 months to do it,” Laloo brags. “Five
months? That’s too long.” the friend exclaims. “You are a fool,”
Laloo replies. “Read the box, it says “5-7 years”.
Maine usse ek ishara kiya Usne salaam likh ke bheja.
Maine pucha tumhara naam kya hai?
Usne chand likh ke bheja.
Maine pucha tumhe kya chahiye?
Usne saara aasmaan likh ke bheja.
Maine pucha kab miloge?
Usne qyamat ki sham likh ke bheja.
Maine pucha kis se darte ho?
Usne muhabbat ka anjaam likh ke bheja.
Maine pucha tumhe nafrat kis se hai?
Usne..Mera hi naam likh ke bhejaa…
Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..
—————————————
Kya aankheiN hain aapki, kya baatein hain aapki..
us khuda ne kuch aisa aapko bnaya hai…
maano…”Shhhsss…KOI Hai” se bhoot nikal aaya hai…
—————————————————
1. L O V E
L = Lake of Sorrow
O = Ocean of Tears
V = Valley of Death
E = End of life….
Yaad karte hai tumhe tanhai mein,
dil dooba hai gamo ki gehrai mein,
hume mat dhoondna duniya ki bhid mein,
hum millenge tumhe tumhari parchaai mein…..
2010 IS COMING
WISH U A VERY
HAPPY NEW YEAR
&
VALENTINE DAY
BASANT PANCHAMI
15 AUGUST
HAPPY FRIENDSHIP
MOTHER
FATHER
DADI
DADA
NANA
NANI
TEACHERS
STUDENTS
CHILDERNS DAY
& HAPPY BIRTH DAY
365 GOOD MORNINGS
AFTERNOONS
& GOOD EVENINGS
GOOD NIGHTS
ROZ
AB PURE SAAL KAHNA
ALL IS WELL
TEAM FUNNYDREMS
Har khushi Hai Logon Ke Daman Mein,
Par Ek Hansi Ke Liye Waqt Nahi..
Din Raat Daudti Duniya Mein,
Zindagi Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
Maa Ki Loree Ka Ehsaas To Hai,
Par Maa Ko Maa Kehne Ka Waqt Nahi.
Saare Rishton Ko To Hum Maar Chuke,
Ab Unhe Dafnane Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Saare Naam Mobile Mein Hain,
Par Dosti Ke Lye Waqt Nahi.
Gairon Ki Kya Baat Karen,
Jab Apno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
Aankhon Me Hai Neend Badee,
Par Sone Ka Waqt Nahi.
Dil Hai Ghamon Se Bhara Hua,
Par Rone Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi . ( 100% fact)
Paison ki Daud Me Aise Daude,
Ki Thakne ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Paraye Ehsason Ki Kya Kadr Karein,
Jab Apane Sapno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
Tu Hi Bata E Zindagi,
Iss Zindagi Ka Kya Hoga,
Ki Har Pal Marne Walon Ko,
Jeene Ke Liye Bhi Waqt Nahi………
NAYE NAYE MUKAM HASIL HO AAPKO !
HAR TARAH KI KHUSHIYAN MILE AAPKO !
ZINDGI SHAANTI SE GUJARE AAPKI,
PYAAR HAR KISI KA MILE AAPKO !
NAHI KAH SAKTE HUM, ITNAA HI BUS,
AAYA HO SAAL JAB DO HAZAAR DUS !
LaTeSt AmAzInG FaCts
